I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
