The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
