How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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