Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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