I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
