At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
