I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
