So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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