I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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