my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
