im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
