You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
