I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
