His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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