Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
