Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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