YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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