New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i love accidental penises.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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