My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
