why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
