i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
worst night to have a conscience
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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