is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
