Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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