I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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