I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
