I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
