I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
