too bad you live with your parents still
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
