; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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