i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
