spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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