You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
