don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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