I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
