In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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