all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
