But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
