i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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