ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We left an ass print on the piano.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
