i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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