Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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