Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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