love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
