did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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