sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
