Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Randomize
