He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
