And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
