Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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