Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
this is an emotional support booty call
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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