I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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